I am going to die

On November 14th, I go in for a 20 minute procedure that may have taken 25 years or a little less to prepare for.

For the past few years, at least, I have had acid reflux issues that have gradually become worse. After attempting to reason with my family doctor, who swore I did not have an ulcer, and taking three different kinds of medication that helped (but did not cure) the problem, I finally (perhaps belatedly) took a trip to the Gastroenterologist. It was decided within the first 5 minutes that I needed an endoscopy.

This is by no means a fun procedure, unless you consider being drugged and putting a tiny camera down your esophogus...fun. Nevertheless, I've rocked and writhed and twitched, crying out like King Lear's "Hoooowwwwllll!" from the pain quite long enough, thank you.

The reason for my prediction of death is the mere thought of a strange, solid un-digestible object being swallowed...by me. A biopsy of my stomach lining will also be plucked from said organ while I am shivering in a stooper of anesthesia, which I'm sure will be lovely.

The kicker of all this was when my doctor told me that I will be partially awake throughout this entire ordeal. The IV will be pumping a certain kind of chemical (definition escapes me) that is identical to those proteins found in the brains of amnesia patients. That way, she said, you won't remember anything, either before or after the torture....I mean, the endoscopy. Right.

Great. They're going to make me forget. This is the liquid equivalent to that flashing stick Tommy Lee Jones used in Men in Black. The idea of me, control-junkie that I am, forgetting something like that is odd. I rarely forget my dreams or the snippet of conversations I hear as I walk by someone in the grocery store, let alone my own actions. Ohhhh.

So, we'll see what becomes of me. I know it will come and go and will be over before I know it, so I'm not all that worried. I'll be in pain for a few days, but thankfully I'll have the weekend to recover. Wish me luck and I will no doubt give you what details I can remember (WHICH WILL BE PLENTY! MMMWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) when I return. :)